5. Down the Line
Don’t we all love call in shows, with various nutters talking about their pet hates? Even the Guardian likes it, so Down the Line with Gary Bellamy must be good. Unfortunately it’s off air as I’m writing this, I hope it will be back soon with another series.

4. The Lawrence Sweeney Mix
The Lawrence Sweeney Mix is improvisation at its best. The audience suggests a topic and they talk about it. The most recent series seems to have finished this week, so go to the listen again page while you can. And hope for it to come back.

3. I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue
I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue how to describe this programme. It calls itself the antidote to panel games. And is really good.

2. Just a minute!
A classic. 35 (!) years old and still going strong. Just a Minute. The rules: Talk about a given topic for one minute without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Just brilliant. And with Nicholas Parsons. And Paul Merton.

1. The Now Show
I think they call The Now Show topical comedy. Comedy about current affairs. Very funny. Unfortunately also off air at the moment, but I’m confident it will be back at some point.

5. The Four Tops
A long time ago, but it’s still great music. I can’t help myself singing to it, there’s just something about you.

4. Sham 69
For once in my life I’ve got something to say: If the kids are united, they will never be divided. Enough said. Actually, no. Hurry up, Harry.

3. 10,000 Maniacs
Great name. And Natalie Merchant. Scorpio Rising, These are the days, some say doesn’t compare to Patti but Because the night is still worth a mention. And finally playing together with the great David Byrne.

2. The B-52s
From the 70s to the early 90s. Anyone still remembering them? I do. Tell It Like It T-I-Is. Love Shack. Rock Lobster. Roam. And Kate’s voice and hair.

1. Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster
Don’t know much about their music, but I think Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster is a great name with a number in it. Which takes them to number 1. That’s all.

5.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

4.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

3.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

2.
M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

1.
Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

5. Yes
Apparently Yes play ‘progressive rock’. Can’t claim I’ve ever really listened to them, but their logo(s) I kind of know for some reason. And according to Wikipedia their name was chosen to be short, direct, and memorable. Good enough for this list.

4. ABC
A band I vaguely remember from my youth. ABC had a few hits back in the 80s. Some New Wave and New Romantics stuff. ‘The Look of Love’ and ‘When Smokey Sings’ were two of their hits, in case you can’t remember them.

3. Can
Can is the name they’re known for, even though it apparently stands for ‘Communism-Anarchism-Nihilism’ which would make it rather too long for this list. But then listing them allows me to use the word ‘Krautrock’, which is good.

2. Ash
Short name, loud and great songs, that’s Ash. Just think Burn Baby Burn, Starcrossed and most importantly Sometimes. Even when they play a cover they have taste and play the best song ever (according to John Peel).

1. U2
That’s the shortest one I can think of, at least in the written form. They even have one of the few two character domains for their website, U2.com. No comments about the music, apart that obviously the old stuff is better. Obviously.